some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
