Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
