Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
