my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
