ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
