I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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