Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
