dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
