Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
