How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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