What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
