found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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