is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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