"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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