i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
