kristin has been a bad kristin
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
