I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
