Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
