when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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