I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
