I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
