Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
