I need to stop coming to work sober
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize