That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Come on in and take your pants off
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