Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
