Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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