he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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