I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
