Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why did my mother make you get naked?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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