so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
