I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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