we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
