Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
