I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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