so that wasnt chicken after all
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
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