guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
