And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
