the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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