areolas are like halos for boobs.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
