His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize