I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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