What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
