Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
