Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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