about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
