Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
