He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
