is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
