Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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