I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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