Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
