Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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