Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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