Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize