yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
