You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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