You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
