I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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