Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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