Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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