i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
