Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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