first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
