if i can run in heels then i can drive
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
