so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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