Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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